Ok, ok, so they're about to give out some supposedly important film awards very soon.
I haven't seen loads of the films that are nominated. Does this matter? Psshhh, nah! Where's the fun in making informed, reasonable choices. These are made on hearsay, fragments of knowledge and instinct alone!
Here's the list, we'll see tomorrow if the real people got it right and matched me.
"Black Swan," - Nah. It's good but... not really all that.
"The Fighter" Nah, not seen this.
"Inception," If we make it open-ended, will people think it's half-assed or will they think it's genius? Apparently, the latter.
"The Kids Are All Right," Wha'?
"The King's Speech," Seriously. I never want to hear these three words again.
"127 Hours," James Franco chews his own arm off. Well done.
"The Social Network," No. I don't want to watch this. Go away.
"Toy Story 3" Has deserved winner stamped all over it.
"True Grit" Fabulous. Better than Toy Story? Probably not.
"Winter's Bone" ...Same as with True Grit. Love it, but it doesn't beat Toy Story.
Actor in a Leading Role
Javier Bardem in "Biutiful" I like Javier Bardem. Haven't seen this though.
Jeff Bridges in "True Grit" Yes.
Jesse Eisenberg in "The Social Network" RraaaRRrrGGHH, Go away.
Colin Firth in "T** K***'s S*****" Stop it! Stop it!
James Franco in "127 Hours" But he's the Green Goblin...
Actor in a Supporting Role
"T** K***'s S*****" again? Make it stop! This one clearly goes to:
John Hawkes in "Winter's Bone"
Actress in a Leading Role
Loads of good choices here. Both these are good:
Jennifer Lawrence in "Winter's Bone"
Natalie Portman in "Black Swan"
but we have a winner:
Michelle Williams in "Blue Valentine" She was brilliant.
Actress in a Supporting Role
I've seen almost none of these.
Hailee Steinfeld in "True Grit"
wins by default. "T** K***'s S*****" can go take a hike.
Animated Feature Film
I really want to see
"The Illusionist" Sylvain Chomet
but if I made Toy Story my Best Film, it'd peobably better take this prize as well.
"Toy Story 3" Lee Unkrich
I don't really know what this award means
"True Grit," by Roger Deakins, was beautiful
"Black Swan," Darren Aronofsky which was amazingly well put together.
"True Grit," Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
Not "T** K***'s S*****"
Aaaaaaand I think I'll stop there. The other categories can sort themselves out. The Documentaries award should be interesting and I plan on watching most of them but... as I've basically seen none of the shorts listed, it seems a little pointless even to speculate.
The one massively embarrassing thing to admit is that I've not seen a single one of the foreign film selection. How has that been allowed to happen? Best sort this out soon!
Just for the record, they are:
Foreign Language Film
"In a Better World," Denmark
"Outside the Law (Hors-la-loi)," Algeria