Thursday, August 13, 2009

Boa Vs Python


First off, I should make it very clear that this is a brilliant film. Not just good, but brilliant. It's fast-paced, full of action and exactly the right length. After all, who wouldn't be keen off a ninety minute serving of CIA vs Hunters vs massive Boa Constrictor vs massive Python?

It's dumb, it's brash, it's action packed, it's everything it sets out to be.

Basic plot as follows (not that it really matters...), dumb rich hunter orders a massive snake delivered to America, dumb rich hunter rounds up his mates to go hunt it, massive snake escapes, CIA get involved, CIA er... decide to use another snake to help them get the first snake, people get snaked, smakes fight.

The hunters are the most obvious team you could imagine; we have arrogant rich man, his girlfriend who doesn't wear many clothes, silent broody killer, brash macho man who hits on rich-man's lady, snake-fodder old man and a bumbling father-son duo. Their inclusion is a little odd; rich-man is supposed to have rounded up the cream of the hunting crop, others who really enjoy killing big animals but the father-son pair are simply too stupid to have been included. Sadly, their comic-relief is not particularly comic...

Hunters or the hunted?

On the CIA side we have Agent Sharpe, as well as hired-team Monica, the tech-expert (or pretty lady #2), and Emmett the snake-expert. Monica's inclusion is clearly only really for experience; her stated role as tech-queen is hardly convincing. She fits cameras and GPS tracking devices to the second big snake (yeah...) but these hardly seem to work and she spends more of her time bashing the portable screen she carries and complaining that it doesn't work. This hardly matters really, however, as twenty minutes later she puts it down and forgets all about it. Only to remember a moment later after it's submerged in an underground reservoir. Whoops! How silly.

The CIA operatives themselves are equally useless. The first group of four (presumedly highly-trained) soliders desert Agent Sharpe and go off to play snake capturing heroics on their own. They die. Later on, CIA operatives allow their freshly captured bad-guy to escape their base (in an armoured car, no less) when they are distracted watching footage of the snakes. Are they really this dumb? Yes, it seems, they are. This is confirmed only seconds later when we discover that the CIA have managed to miss a nearby rave whilst securing a five-mile exclusion zone. Again: whoops!

None of these things though is a problem. This film is simply too much fun to hold such trivial complaints against it. I challenge anyone who watches it not to enjoy it.

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