Now, I love going to the cinema. And I take it pretty seriously. Your behaviour in the cinema should be determined by the kind of film you're watching.
Tense psycho-drama? Don't talk, mutter, mumble or make a noise.
Comedy? Laugh.
Splatter horror at a film festival? Laugh along with everyone else at all the inappropriate gory moments that you all love.
Ok? Are we agreed? Good.
Now let's move ourselves swiftly along to the contentious topic of eating in the cinema. Here, I make no apologies: I am near-fascist in my hatred of noisy food. There's a certain kind of action film (hello Die Hard 4.0!) that totally permits the slurp of mega-sized fizzy drinks and the crunching of popcorn but... in most other respects, it's just irritating. I love popcorn. I love eating popcorn at the cinema. But I also love those tense moments of cinematic silence, as we wait with baited breath to see if... CRUNCH MUNCH CRUNCH GUZZLE CHOMP ..oh. You just ruined that moment by scoffing a faceful of popcorn. Thanks.
Sometimes I wish say to myself "I'm going to kill that guy if he keeps rustling those sweets"
I am, however, a moderate and restrained kind of person, and so have never actually followed through with this mental threat. Sadly not everyone is quite as calm! The Telegraph reports that a 27 year old Latvian shot a fellow cinema-goer dead for the volume of his popcorn munching!
Eesh! Now bear that in mind next time you eat noisily at the cinema!
(Thanks to Cineshock for alerting me to this!)
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